


Vamp Like a Vixen

by speccygeekgrrl



Series: speccygeekgrrl's 2014 Kink Bingo fills [8]
Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Furry, M/M, Vince can wear literally anything and make it sexy, fox-bummers of the world unite, kind of, kink bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 01:50:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1839928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vince has gone wrong. But what else is new? Even when he's being an idiot, he's irresistible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vamp Like a Vixen

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a bit of sheer silliness to check off the "furry kink" square on my Kink Bingo card. But, y'know, it does make a nice mental image.

He should have known something was up. It was far too quiet in the flat. Howard, all unsuspecting, was taking advantage of the silence to try and write a song, sitting on his bed and playing around with his guitar, occasionally making notes in a workbook. He did notice when the door-- which he had deliberately closed-- began to open.

At first, all he saw were Vince’s fingers curling around the edge of the door, nails varnished black and tapping against the wood lightly. The next thing he saw was an ear, but it wasn’t Vince’s ear-- it was furry, pointed, black at the tip shading to red at the base, and then there was Vince’s hair, and his actual ear, and then one bright blue eye peeking around the door, and even that little bit of his expression looked far too delighted with himself. “Alright, Howard?” he said casually as the rest of his head came into view-- yes, he was wearing fox ears on a headband, and he’d blackened the tip of his nose, and Howard couldn't do anything but blink at him for a moment. 

"What's with the--" He stopped on a strangled noise when Vince came fully into view. The only other thing he was wearing was a pair of russet-colored briefs with a bushy red and white tail attached. Howard actually had to hold his hand in front of his eyes before he could regain a scrap of composure. "What the hell are you wearing?"

"D'you like it?" Vince gave a little wiggle, and the tail flicked around his knees. Howard shook his head slowly.

"You've gone wrong," he said, "prancing around like that, who do you think's going to come calling? The Crack Fox, most likely."

"Eurgh," Vince shuddered at the thought. "That's well foul. You know exactly who I want to come calling, you fox-bumming twit."

"That was a _rumor_ ," Howard spat, "a disgusting rumor, filthy lies."

"Yeah? Then why'd Jack Cooper start givin' you the cold shoulder? Broke his furry little heart, you did. Takin' advantage of a poor little woodland creature."

"It was because of the rumors! He thought I'd started them. Absurd, I'd never do a thing like that. For one, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."

"Did you kiss him?" Vince bent slightly, getting closer to Howard, on his eye level. "Did you... love him?" he asked, tone serious but eyes mocking. Howard looked furious, like he wanted to grab Vince and shake him, but there was nothing to grab but bare skin, and he didn't want to give the little tart the satisfaction.

"I never touched that fox except in the discharge of my zookeeping duties, thank you, now can you take your demented fuzzy arse and get the hell out?"

“Aw, don’t be like that. I’m bein’ serious, don’t you like it?”

“How can you possibly be serious with a fox tail hanging off your pants? You look ridiculous. Take it off.”

“I don’t think I will,” Vince said mock-thoughtfully, “I think you will for me.” Carefully, he lifted the guitar out of Howard’s hands and set it aside, then settled his betailed bottom on Howard’s lap. “If you want it off me so badly as all that.” He still looked far, far too pleased with himself. Howard was sorely tempted to stand up and dump him on the floor… except that he did, sort of, look a little bit cute like this, in that weird way that Vince made everything look good no matter how ridiculous it was. He was an idiot… but he was Howard’s idiot, and if he actually did this because he thought Howard would like it… well, that’s rather sweet, isn’t it? 

“Just to be absolutely, one hundred percent crystal clear about this, I’m not aroused by foxes,” Howard said, knocked that ridiculous headband off his head and kissed that self-satisfied smirk straight off of Vince’s face. Vince giggled into the kiss, rubbing his nose against Howard’s cheek obnoxiously. “Really? Must you?” Howard griped, swiping the back of his hand at the smudge, and Vince licked his thumb and rubbed at it, really just making it a bit worse, given that it was eyeshadow of the type guaranteed to last all day. 

“It’s how they show affection,” Vince said, and Howard shook his head.

“Actually, it isn’t.” His hand fell to the tail-- which really was quite soft and fluffy and nice to the touch-- and he brought his mouth closer to Vince’s ear. “Foxes show affection by nipping,” he said, and bit Vince’s earlobe gently, worrying it between his teeth.

“Oh,” Vince breathed, “well in that case…” 

The tail didn’t remain attached to Vince’s bottom for much longer, but it was quite a bit more useful held in the hand, anyhow.


End file.
